Monday, November 24, 2014
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Saturday, October 25, 2014
We were all going to the Patriots game but I couldn't get everybody moving. More and more time went by till we missed the kickoff, the first half, the third quarter - finally Patrice, my dream girl that I was hoping to woo, said she didn't think we were going to make it. I said yeah we'd never get there and out of the car and into the stadium before the end. My best friend Schuyler started stroking her hair and she reciprocated, and then they laid down on the banks of a river and started kissing. I was devastated. I turned away and said "Take it easy guys" as farewell and Schuyler said "You too" without looking up as I walked away. I realized I hadn't activated my car finder app when we parked so now I had no idea where my car was. I started wandering the streets looking for the parking garage, barely able to walk from sadness. Still feel devastated after waking.
INSIGHT - Schuyler was a best friend, Patrice was a beautiful straight-laced girl that almost happened - now in my dreams she represents the straight life I never had - of course then lots of people wouldn't have known me all these years. I feel like that concept and the Patriots game are related - at this point I'm too old to live the life I imagined, as Roger Waters once said "No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun." Although it's interesting that in the dream it was everyone else's apathy that caused us to miss out - I was trying to get people motivated but no one would come with me. Patrice then chose the option available to her at the time, which wasn't me. I have a theory that the maximum number of individuals you can get to do anything is three - any more than that and someone will drag the whole group down. Even though Schuyler was my friend I felt no betrayal - this wasn't about him so much as it was the loss of her. Interestingly in real life Schuyler once had a prospect stolen away by another mutual friend (something I consider a serious breach of etiquette), so it's odd that my dream would place him in the role of stealer here. All of them are now hundreds of miles away. So sad.
INSIGHT - Schuyler was a best friend, Patrice was a beautiful straight-laced girl that almost happened - now in my dreams she represents the straight life I never had - of course then lots of people wouldn't have known me all these years. I feel like that concept and the Patriots game are related - at this point I'm too old to live the life I imagined, as Roger Waters once said "No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun." Although it's interesting that in the dream it was everyone else's apathy that caused us to miss out - I was trying to get people motivated but no one would come with me. Patrice then chose the option available to her at the time, which wasn't me. I have a theory that the maximum number of individuals you can get to do anything is three - any more than that and someone will drag the whole group down. Even though Schuyler was my friend I felt no betrayal - this wasn't about him so much as it was the loss of her. Interestingly in real life Schuyler once had a prospect stolen away by another mutual friend (something I consider a serious breach of etiquette), so it's odd that my dream would place him in the role of stealer here. All of them are now hundreds of miles away. So sad.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Was trying to pee sitting down in a tiny tiny little bathroom and college girls kept barging in taking a shortcut. There were two doors, and the girls awkwardly tried to get around my knees - they all said sorry but they didn't really mean it. I got up and locked both doors with an old fashioned slide bolt lock and they all got upset, pushing the doors in and making them bulge while I turned around and tried to pee standing up since they could see.
INSIGHT - Well, I had to pee, so that was a big influence. Also I had watched Harmony Korine's movie 'Spring Breakers' the night before, which portrays college girls as mounds of vapid, self-absorbed meat. Another naked in public dream, but this time no one thought it was unusual - they just assumed I was taking a dump because I was sitting down. I do usually pee sitting down, because I live alone and there's no one else to clean the bathroom. Lack of splatter makes a huge difference. I find it interesting that the girls were awkwardly maneuvering between my legs - this feels like some sort of statement on sexuality but I have no idea what it means.
INSIGHT - Well, I had to pee, so that was a big influence. Also I had watched Harmony Korine's movie 'Spring Breakers' the night before, which portrays college girls as mounds of vapid, self-absorbed meat. Another naked in public dream, but this time no one thought it was unusual - they just assumed I was taking a dump because I was sitting down. I do usually pee sitting down, because I live alone and there's no one else to clean the bathroom. Lack of splatter makes a huge difference. I find it interesting that the girls were awkwardly maneuvering between my legs - this feels like some sort of statement on sexuality but I have no idea what it means.
Friday, October 31, 2014
Monday, October 20, 2014
Annoyed at people being around me when I'm naked. I was laying on my bed and turned towards a guy and he was visibly uncomfortable and I said "Well, you are in my room." A woman behind me then said "Well close your windows then, nobody wants to see that."
INSIGHT - I often dream about being naked in public. This is a common theme in dreams, often resulting from feeling ill-prepared or something similar. Prior to this dream no one had remarked directly on my nakedness, and I used to hope no one was noticing but lately I've come to believe they're all just being polite. I think all these dreams represent a feeling of unworthiness, that friends talk about me to their wives and want to try to help me, which is humiliating and unnecessary. My only defense is to pretend everything's fine (that I do have clothes on) and I don't need help. As Bret Easton Ellis would say, I've got to appear normal. Possible trigger - last night my buddy Spooner tried to pick up the whole bar tab and apologized for us not hanging out more frequently.
INSIGHT - I often dream about being naked in public. This is a common theme in dreams, often resulting from feeling ill-prepared or something similar. Prior to this dream no one had remarked directly on my nakedness, and I used to hope no one was noticing but lately I've come to believe they're all just being polite. I think all these dreams represent a feeling of unworthiness, that friends talk about me to their wives and want to try to help me, which is humiliating and unnecessary. My only defense is to pretend everything's fine (that I do have clothes on) and I don't need help. As Bret Easton Ellis would say, I've got to appear normal. Possible trigger - last night my buddy Spooner tried to pick up the whole bar tab and apologized for us not hanging out more frequently.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Friday, October 17, 2014
Dreamed was mad at my brother. I placed my shoes in a pile of other shoes and he told me don't leave my shoes there. He had been sniping at me for a long time, and I said it looked like this was a place people were putting their shoes. I got so angry I was filled with rage when I woke up and now am too angry to go back to sleep.
INSIGHT - Why am I so angry at my brother? (That's a long story.) I found out if I bring my dog to our parents' house for Christmas he won't come because he hates animals. Last time I boarded Rory they had to tranquilize him because he kept crying that I had left him. (He's a rescue with abandonment issues.) I think I'm mad at my brother for making me choose between him and my dog, because I have to choose him.
INSIGHT - Why am I so angry at my brother? (That's a long story.) I found out if I bring my dog to our parents' house for Christmas he won't come because he hates animals. Last time I boarded Rory they had to tranquilize him because he kept crying that I had left him. (He's a rescue with abandonment issues.) I think I'm mad at my brother for making me choose between him and my dog, because I have to choose him.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Colin Kaepernick is attempting a game-winning drive and his gay lover Billy Crystal runs out onto the field to kiss him for luck. I get out my phone and start to post to Facebook "I hope they do to Billy Crystal what they would do to me if I ran onto the field," but am interrupted by a phone call from my dental hygienist reminding me of an appointment tomorrow, saying "You won't have to move in with Amy" because they got a new office. I'm outside and it's dark and a guy walks menacingly down the street and I worry he's going to mug me for my phone. I'm very self-conscious that the phone is lighting up my face so he can see me.
INSIGHT - San Francisco had just beat St. Louis on Monday Night Football to make me lose a bet - Kaepernick seemed unstoppable despite only a 4.5 point spread. I think the menacing man was "The Man," Mr. PC, the masses. I wanted to speak my mind but was afraid of being singled out (phone lighting my face) for backlash for being homophobic when really all I want is equality. (Great choice for my first blog entry then. For the record I am pro-gay rights.) I was stopped from posting my statement on FB/Twitter (in my dream they were the same) by my dental hygienist, who represents responsibility and smart thinking. The only Amy I know is (redacted), a Creek Indian in Atmore (I also am Creek). Perhaps this is something to do with not being on the tribal health care plan (not living on the reservation). The medical center down the street from my house is expanding, that might be where the idea of new medical offices came from.
By the way, this first post is a good opportunity for me to state some of my beliefs about dream analysis. Although I welcome any input, I believe the person most qualified to analyze a dream is the dreamer himself, since he knows best the connotations he brings into and out of a dream. That said, there are a few universal themes of which I am aware, and when I think of these I will include them in any insights. Also it should be stated I have no reason to believe Colin Kaepernick is gay, but I wouldn't be surprised about Billy Crystal.
INSIGHT - San Francisco had just beat St. Louis on Monday Night Football to make me lose a bet - Kaepernick seemed unstoppable despite only a 4.5 point spread. I think the menacing man was "The Man," Mr. PC, the masses. I wanted to speak my mind but was afraid of being singled out (phone lighting my face) for backlash for being homophobic when really all I want is equality. (Great choice for my first blog entry then. For the record I am pro-gay rights.) I was stopped from posting my statement on FB/Twitter (in my dream they were the same) by my dental hygienist, who represents responsibility and smart thinking. The only Amy I know is (redacted), a Creek Indian in Atmore (I also am Creek). Perhaps this is something to do with not being on the tribal health care plan (not living on the reservation). The medical center down the street from my house is expanding, that might be where the idea of new medical offices came from.
By the way, this first post is a good opportunity for me to state some of my beliefs about dream analysis. Although I welcome any input, I believe the person most qualified to analyze a dream is the dreamer himself, since he knows best the connotations he brings into and out of a dream. That said, there are a few universal themes of which I am aware, and when I think of these I will include them in any insights. Also it should be stated I have no reason to believe Colin Kaepernick is gay, but I wouldn't be surprised about Billy Crystal.
What the hell is this?
Hi! My friends call me Larry, and I am an introspective extrovert.
As part of the process towards conscious dreaming I have begun to keep a dream diary. I have now decided to post the entries online, because why the hell not. It will be an experiment in honesty - while everything you read will be 100% honest, I'm not yet sure how much I will post. The dreams posted will be anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks prior to the post, partly to give myself time for some insight but mostly because the decision to blog came a couple of weeks after the decision to keep the diary. If I name names you can assume the names are fake.
The diary is a notebook I keep on my bedside table, and when I wake up from a dream I write it down before going back to sleep or getting on with my day. I intend to post each entry exactly as written, so niceties like proper grammar may be forsaken. My idea as it stands is to use italics for everything in the "dream world," and normal characters for any insight I include after waking. The insight comes from that morning or soon after, while anything in bold is something I'm writing at the time of the blog post. Also, I frequently wake with a persistent song in my head that can't be explained by having heard it the night before or recently, so if that happens I will include it as the music of the dream. And one last thing, I always go to bed after midnight so the date given is the early morning the dream happened, the day after the previous night, so to speak. Yeah, that's the kind of clarity I'm seeking here.
So I think that about covers the ground rules, just one caveat - some of the dreams may be explicit or otherwise offensive. I intend to go into as much detail as I remember from the dream, so my only self-censorship will be whether or not I post the dream at all. If I post it, it's unedited. My only request is that the reader try not to make judgments on my character based on dreams - I can't help my subconscious. That said, let's have a look inside my mind, shall we?
As part of the process towards conscious dreaming I have begun to keep a dream diary. I have now decided to post the entries online, because why the hell not. It will be an experiment in honesty - while everything you read will be 100% honest, I'm not yet sure how much I will post. The dreams posted will be anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks prior to the post, partly to give myself time for some insight but mostly because the decision to blog came a couple of weeks after the decision to keep the diary. If I name names you can assume the names are fake.
The diary is a notebook I keep on my bedside table, and when I wake up from a dream I write it down before going back to sleep or getting on with my day. I intend to post each entry exactly as written, so niceties like proper grammar may be forsaken. My idea as it stands is to use italics for everything in the "dream world," and normal characters for any insight I include after waking. The insight comes from that morning or soon after, while anything in bold is something I'm writing at the time of the blog post. Also, I frequently wake with a persistent song in my head that can't be explained by having heard it the night before or recently, so if that happens I will include it as the music of the dream. And one last thing, I always go to bed after midnight so the date given is the early morning the dream happened, the day after the previous night, so to speak. Yeah, that's the kind of clarity I'm seeking here.
So I think that about covers the ground rules, just one caveat - some of the dreams may be explicit or otherwise offensive. I intend to go into as much detail as I remember from the dream, so my only self-censorship will be whether or not I post the dream at all. If I post it, it's unedited. My only request is that the reader try not to make judgments on my character based on dreams - I can't help my subconscious. That said, let's have a look inside my mind, shall we?
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